THE NEW #2


Being raised in the good ‘ol USA almost guarantees one to be a devotee of the major sports. We all know hockey has no business in the conversation. It’s about the Big Three.

Football. Baseball. B-Ball. Always has been. Always will be.

Unless more fans like us are tuning out and turning on to other sports. Hockey, of course, not included. One that very well could be making its long awaited entry into the troika could finally be Futbol.

Because the NBA, except Steph Curry, sucks dog balls.

And it’s boring watching the Yankees win one third of the titles.

As a kid all we knew of soccer was what we learned from our Persian classmate and neighbor who’d school us when the NASL Earthquakes still existed. Paul Child was their star. They wore red uni’s, and when they played Spartan would be a sea of it.

In 1994 the Brazilian team stayed in Lost Gatos but we barely batted an eye. It wasn’t until ’98 when under the bridge in a shack with a bunch of border brothers that we caught the fever. Straining around the radio in between passing the pipa to hear how El Tri was faring. Similar to when we hung with a second generation Chicano who lived down the block and huddled around a cheap transistor to hear the Quakes do battle with the mighty Cosmos.

Without the dope.

Once fair weather World Cup fans, these days we channel surf for soccer. Premier League. The Primera. Even the MLS.

Then there are our neighbors. The New Quakes. Four of them occupy a townhome in our complex and are very nice lads.

When they see us at the curb, puffing on a Pall-Mall, tall Tecate in hand, they always stop and put up with our peppering.

“You guys going to the playoffs man?”

It’s exhilarating to be passionate about a ballgame again. To bleed for the Tri and hate Landon Donovan like we do the Raiders. And to have new heroes, like Chicharito, who excites us the way another number 14, Fouts, did. It is, in fact, “the beautiful game”, and we’re grateful for the new girlfriend we were never aware was right next door.

To replace the two ugly ones.

UPDATE: Chicharito scores again. In the Champions League!!!

FREEDOM OF CHOICE-DEVO

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28 Responses to THE NEW #2

  1. Scum says:

    Yeah, why would American kids be interested in a 3rd world sport? Soccer is for sissies. Hockey is the real man’s game. Faster, harder hitting than the NFL.

    In hockey, it’s an everyday part of the game to get teeth knocked out, bones broken, and cuts requiring stitches. In soccer you sweat.

    In parts of the Muslim 4th world, throats are cut on purpose in soccer stadiums as halftime entertainment/public executions. In hockey it happens as part of the game (Google Richard Zednik throat). Now that’s a real dangerous sport!!

    I get that you grew up around girlymen that ran around kicking a ball cuz you didn’t have money for anything else, but you obviously think that not learning about hockey means you’re qualified to evaluate it. Perhaps you went to California public schools, where sissies are considered the epitome of masculinity and ignorance is the height of education.

    I played soccer. It sucks. It’s long distance running, rarely with a ball.

    Hockey is a native sport to North America. The 1st world. Once the illegal immigrants are booted out of the US, soccer will die.

    Are those words “slummy” enough for you?

    • drowningboy says:

      “Faster, harder hitting than the NFL.”

      You were doing well til that line.

      Face it, spice hockey is for frustrated figure skaters.

      • Scum says:

        d-boy,

        “spice hockey is for frustrated figure skaters” – ole el toreador!
        That’s a good one.

        [ Although Beckham married a "spice" girl. She just might be tougher than him!]

  2. Scum#2 says:

    @Scum: another uneducated racist prick that only can speak from behind the computer haha you make me laugh. Got get you hockey stick, jump on your pickup truck and go pick up your cousin that is also your auntie

    • Scum says:

      At least I can:
      1. Read
      2. Spell

      Good luck with your life bro. You’ll need it.

      • drowningboy says:

        You can read and write. Pretty good for a wood.

      • Reality-Checker says:

        Well, maybe you should pitch this hockey “action” to soccer fans that outnumber you. Let’s see how quick you’ll convert the “NFL on ice” to them. Go to Nou Camp or Qwest Field and do it..

        You’ll have better luck in your home, Canada.

  3. Paulo says:

    I thought hockey went bankrupt? Do they still have a league?

    • Scum says:

      Pauly, the NASL went bankrupt. And your point was??

      Lame, that’s what.

      Besides bankrupted Soccer Leagues, let’s talk bankrupted “pro” soccer teams:
      Do the names Fort Lauderdale Strikers, Miami Toros, Miami Sharks, Miami Fusion ring a bell? And that’s just Florida.

      The NHL has been around since 1917; almost 100 years.

  4. D says:

    Hockey? rich kid sport. may as well go play polo, and get a club sandwich in the cabana when your done.

  5. CMB says:

    This is a stupid argument. Soccer is more popular than any sport. That is NOT because it is better by any means. AFter watching all the blown calls in the world cup cost teams games it was pretty obvious how much of a joke soccer is. And hockey is probably the least popular sport out of any. That doesn’t change the fact that it is by far the most intense to watch. If Scum can watch a soccer game in which there is a scoring chance every 10 minutes and people fake injuries like it’s their job, i’m sure he can grow a pair and watch the fastest major sport in the country.

    • Scum says:

      CMB, did you read the 1st comment at the top of the page? It was me defending hockey.

      I like your points. Soccer is indeed game that is tainted by corruption, like the Olympics. It’s a joke. Your assertion that just because more people watch soccer, doesn’t define the game, and the man’s game is hockey.

      What’s funny is the soccer fans here that know so little of hockey. At least I’ve played soccer and was a referee on top of that.

      In terms of how the game is played, hockey is similar to soccer, it’s just that hockey moves 100X faster and hits a million times harder. The only reason one cannot understand that is because one has never watched hockey for a season.

      Hockey=fast and bone crushing. Soccer=slow and soft.

  6. 3detripa says:

    Scum, all american sports are tainted by stereoids or some kind of performance enhancers, i doubt that any american athlete of a major sport in the US can pass the doping tests that football (the real one, the one wich actually is played with your feet) players undergo. Hockey is boring and stupid maybe thats why nobody watch it, I mean really … Dora the explorer is funnier and entertaining than hockey.

    • Scum says:

      Hockey is boring? That says all I need to know about your mental faculties [which means there is no possibility of reasoning with you].

    • Scum says:

      And what is your point? I don’t care about steroids. I want to watch a sport that it full of action (unlike boring soccer matches), and keeps me energized with great hitting and a fight or 2 thrown in.

      Soccer is the most boring game (with the possible exception of checkers), because it is so slow and simple. Which explains why so many poor people all over the World can understand it and follow it, and play it. This is why it’s so popular. It takes no money/gear to play. In that sense, it’s a great game.

      Good for them. Just don’t go around saying soccer is faster and harder hitting.

      It’s like you… Boring

  7. Tom says:

    Drowning boy? Why are you trolling FTF and acting like a total douche?

    Get a life mother fucker!

  8. drowningboy says:

    Because hockey sucks.

  9. drowningboy says:

    Didn’t you mean “Stay the ‘puck’ out of…”???

  10. B says:

    I once told a friend of mine, a soccer player, that soccer was not a real sport. My argument to her was that nothing can be a real sport if the women who play it are tougher than the men.

  11. Jay-Hova says:

    “Just because it’s more popular doesn’t mean it’s a man’s sport”- That shows enough logic of the Hockey fanboy argument. LOL, so to decipher a “”better”” (double quote) sport, it’s decided by how many guys want to prove their masculinity and show how not-gay they are?

    Hahah, that let’s me know enough..

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